Quietly she sat on the park bench and took out her notebook. It was a beautiful summer day; the slight cool breeze brought the scent of the tulips that were camped out under a nearby tree. She reached into her dress pocket to pull out her phone and realized that she’d left it back at work. She chuckled to herself figuring it didn’t really matter that she didn’t have it since only her mom and best friend would call or text her anyway.
As great as life is for her right now, she secretly longed for something more; someone more. Her heart would often sing out songs of love and desire for someone to answer to; but no one ever did. She would have loved to have to keep her phone on her so she could read sweet messages from a man that was so into her he needed to express it often. She was looking for love but what she didn’t realize was that she was looking for the love of herself; self-love.
Women have strong hearts and our heart allows us to give strong love that goes deep, but the one person that gets neglected from this love is our self. There are so many single women looking for a man and yes, even many married women or women in committed relationships that long for more. Our hearts were made to desire but we can get frustrated searching for a love we feel we can never find.
It may sound cliché but we can truly only love that someone when we love our self first. I was speaking to a young woman recently and she expressed how nice it would be to have someone in her life; someone to spend time with and love. She then shared that she felt like that man would never come around.
I could see the confusion and sadness in her eyes. I asked her if she felt that she was actually ready for a relationship. If she felt that when she looked within, if there was anything she wanted to change or any way she could develop herself. Her eyebrows furrowed and she sighed and simply replied, “Well, yes.”
As women we do best to be our best but for many of us, when we look within we see what others don’t. Perhaps it’s the fact that we’re not as happy as our smile portrays or maybe it’s that we want to be healthier in how active we are or what we eat because we’re not as comfortable in our skin as we wish to be. We may see these points as what we don’t like about ourselves but really these are the perfect points to start your self-development.
When you can target what it is that’s holding you back from being happier, or from being healthier or whatever your inner goal is, than you can work at developing it and by doing this you are feeding your self love and allowing it to grow.
I’ve created a simple exercise (a few questions) you can complete to help you narrow down where your self-development will start. After you’ve gone through the exercise, I would love to know how this has assisted you in feeding your self love! Please leave me a comment or message.
- Make a list of the things in your life that are hindering you from being happy and living each day at your best. (This can simply be point form).
- From everything you came up with, choose the one that is most conflicting to your happiness.
- Jot down how this burden impacts you.
- Decide what you can do to work through this issue so it either impacts you less or how you can eliminate it all together.
Write down how your life can change in every aspect when you can work through this issue and allow yourself the credit of self love. (Now you can work through each thing you wrote down in number one. Take your time and gradually work through them one by one. You can do this in one sitting or over a week so you don’t overwhelm yourself).